SAFE PLACE TO LEARN ACT (EC §234.1)

What is bullying?

Bullying is the repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power.

Bullying can take many forms. It can include:

• Physical violence
• Intimidation and threats
• Name calling and belittling
• Social exclusion
• Gossiping and spreading rumors about others
• Public humiliation
• Using slurs, words or phrases that characterize a bullied victim’s identity to suggest that something about him/her is unacceptable or worthless

Anti-Bullying Agreements at BVUSD

The following agreements help BVUSD keep our commitment to prevent and respond to bullying:

Our Behaviors

• We model kindness, empathy and respect for all living things, including people, animals and the natural environment
• We engage with civility. No exceptions.
• We communicate respect in everything we do and say - especially in moments of disagreement

Our Culture

• We cultivate a culture where bullying is “totally uncool” & kindness is appreciated and respected
• We do not tolerate mean, rude, disrespectful, hurtful or harmful behavior
• We understand that hurt people, hurt people and all behavior is a message. Often, children bully because they might also have been a victim of some type of bullying or trauma in the past. Everyone needs support.
• We hold every adult in our community accountable to stop bullying in the school and community
• We encourage children to stand up to bullying
• We support the development of student groups and programs in schools that promote cultural diversity, inclusiveness, respect and equality

Our Policies & Practices

• Work with children to repair the harm caused by harmful behavior
• We implement policies that explicitly specify that bullying on the basis of race, ethnicity, language, gender, class, religion, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression and appearance (including weight) are not tolerated
• We apply real consequences and accountability for youth who receive a complaint, including opportunities for them to repair the harm they have caused
• We encourage teachers to include diverse people and subjects in their lesson plans or activities. This provides opportunities for all youth to see themselves and their peers in the curricula they receive

Leading by Example: Kindness is Contagious

Children pick up on everything we do. Demonstrate kindness and raise objections in front of children when you witness inequality, cruelty or discrimination of any kind. Early and ongoing discussions about the importance of treating all beings with kindness, fairness and humanity, regardless of differences, is hugely impactful. Below are some tips to help teach children to be kind to others from a young age.

• Lead by example. Your children will learn to be kind to others by the way you act and speak to and about other people.
• Ask children how it feels when someone does something kind for them
• Praise when you notice them doing something kind for you, a sibling, a friend or a neighbor, and when they are kind to animals and pets
• When someone does something kind for you, tell your students about it and explain to them how it made you feel. Compliment the other person in front of the children for his or her kindness.
• Consistently speak out in opposition against hatred, cruelty and prejudice toward others.
• Demonstrate the golden rule and lend a helping hand to those in need.
• Help children develop pro social skills via programs such as RULER, Tool Box and Second Step

Classroom Tools | Video Collection

Supporting a child who is being bullied

Children who are being bullied may feel embarrassed or afraid to let adults know about the situation, especially if they feel adults will judge them or fail to protect them. If your child or student tells you that he or she is being bullied, be understanding and supportive, because it can take a lot of courage to admit it. Ask the child what he or she thinks can be done to help the situation and make suggestions yourself. It is important not to ignore the situation or pretend it is not happening. Rational decisions about next steps and ways to end the bullying need to be made as soon as possible.

No one can stop bullying alone — it takes a group effort from teachers, school administrators, community members, parents/guardians, extended family members and kids/youth. Here are some additional action steps you can take if your child is being bullied:

• Assess the impact and seek therapeutic or emergency help if necessary.
• Communicate to the child that they are not to blame and that they love the child for who he or she is.
• Parents may need to seek support and advice themselves, if they are struggling with why their child is being bullied (e.g., issues surrounding body image such as obesity, the child’s annoying mannerisms or behaviors, sexual orientation, etc.).
• Talk with the child about why kids might bully other kids (see above) and how to protect him/herself, both emotionally and physically.
• Talk about not being “entertainment” for the bully.
• Encourage the child to take part in extracurricular activities that highlight his or her strengths and that make the child feel safe, special and accepted.
• Seek out positive adult mentors (e.g., extended family members, teachers, coaches, volunteers, etc.) whom the child can relate to.

Advice for Bullied Children:

• Understand that you are not to blame for the bullying and that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
• Stand up for yourself but do not overly engage with the bully; focus your energy on taking caring of yourself.
• Speak out. Tell someone you trust that you are being harmed and you need help. If you can, file an official complaint with your school.
• Encourage others (like fellow students, friends, relatives and community members) who have been bullied or who have witnessed bullying to raise their voices with you. It won’t stop unless everyone says no.
• Spend time doing things you care about, either alone or with people you love.

Why do kids bully?

• Previous traumatic experiences of their own, including maltreatment or bullying.
• For attention (of other kids, adults)
• To feel in control (typically when they feel powerless otherwise)
• Low self-esteem—they cut someone down to make themselves feel better.
• A lack of warmth and involvement on the part of their parents.
• Parent(s) exhibiting bullying behavior or violence to others, including to both people and animals.
• Harsh, physical discipline at home, including physical abuse.
• A lack of supervision or intervention (including little to no limits for children’s behavior) by parents, guardians, teachers and other adults.
• Victimization by older siblings.
• Friends who bully or who have positive attitudes about violence.
• Models of bullying behavior are prevalent throughout society, especially in television, movies and video games.
• Some aggressive children who take on high status roles may use bullying as a way to enhance their social power and protect their prestige with peers.
• Some children with low social status may use bullying as a way to deflect taunting and aggression that is directed toward them and enhance their social status with higher status peers.
• Bullying thrives in schools where faculty and staff do not address bullying, where there are weak policies against bullying and discrimination, and where there is little supervision of students — especially at recess or during free periods.

Free Bully Prevention Resources from the Committee for Children

The following resources are provided by Committee for Children, an organization “dedicated to promoting the safety, well-being, and success of children in school and in life. The goal of this page is to empower kids and the adults around them with information and resources to help them understand what bullying is, who is affected by it, and what you and your community can do to prevent it.”

What Is bullying?

Who is affected?

How to Prevent it?

“Bully” Is Not a Noun

What Parents Should Know About Bullying: A Two-Part Article

Bullying includes behaviors such as hitting, teasing, taunting, spreading rumors and gossip, stealing, and excluding someone from a group. Bullying actions are carried out on purpose with the intent to harm someone.   Read Part 1 | Read Part 2

Make Conversation a Daily Habit

A Discussion with Sesame Street Workshop

 Cyber-Bullying & Internet Safety

The Internet can be a wonderful resource for kids. They can use it to research school reports, communicate with teachers and other kids, and play interactive games. Kids who are old enough to punch in a few letters on the keyboard can literally access the world. But that access can also pose hazards. For example, an 8-year-old might do an online search for "Lego." But with just one missed keystroke, the word "Legs" is entered instead, and the child may be directed to a slew of websites with a focus on legs — some of which may contain pornographic material. Remember that the Internet is accessed by millions of people all over the world. While many Internet users are friendly, some may want to hurt children. Just like any safety issue, it's wise to talk with kids about your concerns, take advantage of resources to protect them, and keep a close eye on their activities.

 Ways to stay cyber-safe:

Never allow students to post or share personal information online (this includes full name, address, telephone number, school name, parents’ names, credit card number, or Social Security number) or friends’ personal information.

Basic Rules for Cyber Safety

• Never share Internet passwords except with school staff and parents.
• Never meet anyone face-to-face whom you only know online.
• Never trade personal photographs in the mail or scanned photographs over the Internet.
• Never reveal personal information, such as address, phone number, or school name or location. Use only a screen name. Never agree to meet anyone from a chat room in person.
• Never respond to a threatening email or message.
• Always tell a parent about any communication or conversation that was scar

Chat Room Cautions

Chat rooms are set up according to interest or subject, such as a favorite sport or TV show. Because people can communicate with each other alone or in a group, chat rooms are among the most popular destinations on the Web — especially for kids and teens. But chat rooms can pose hazards for kids. Some kids have met "friends" in chat rooms who were interested in exploiting them. No one knows how common chat-room predators are, but pedophiles (adults who are sexually interested in children) are known to frequent chat rooms. These predators sometimes prod their online acquaintances to exchange personal information, such as addresses and phone numbers, thus putting the kids they are chatting with — and their families — at risk. Pedophiles often pose as teenagers in chat rooms. Because many kids have been told by parents not to give out their home phone numbers, pedophiles may encourage kids to call them; with caller ID the offenders instantly have the kids' phone numbers. Students should get permission from parents before using chat rooms and tell their parents if anyone asks for them to call or to give personal information. Chat rooms may NOT be used at school.